Sunday, March 20, 2011

One Step Forward, Then Two Steps Back

I was doing so well, and then a surprise pregnancy announcement (surprise to me because I didn't realize they were trying) from my college roommate sent me over the edge today.  I actually got the news in the afternoon from my other college roommate.  As I was making dinner later that evening, I couldn't keep it together.  I just sat down and had a good cry.

I'm happy for her, I really am.  But why oh why does it have to be so hard for me?  And when will it be my turn?  The scarier question is -- do I even get a turn?  I had to take five minutes tonight to let it all out and just feel sorry for myself.  I'd been doing so well, but everyone needs a good pity party at some point, don't they?

I know the Lord has a plan for my life -- I just wish I knew what it was.  But I am trusting Him, and knowing that everything will work out for the best, no matter what the outcome.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Today was my husband's varicocelectomy.  It all went well.  He's in very minimal pain, which I'm very thankful for.  The doctor said there were quite a few varicoceles that they ended up tying off...5 or 6 on each side, some of them quite large.  He said -- and I quote -- "I think this will help."

Oh, I really, really hope so!

We have a follow-up appointment next Tuesday.