That's the question that I asked my husband the other day.
I'm not sure. Does my husband and me and our dog count as a family? Or are we just a couple until we have kids, and then we're a family?
There is something really special about two people, who stand far apart in the genetic spectrum, coming together and producing offspring that genetically tie them together. Is that what makes a family a family?
What if my husband and I never have biological offspring, or any children for that matter? Are we just two untethered people bobbing along in life?
I think there's a danger in thinking that, and I don't think that's the case.
The bible tells us that when man and woman come together, they become one flesh. In essence, they are joined inextricably and are a family unit from that point on. To think otherwise is to forgo what the bible says, and to idolize the concept of having children.
By the way, in case you were wondering, my husband's response to the question: "Even if we never have any children, you will always be my family."
I struggled with this concept a lot when we were first dealing with infertility. Before we started trying to get pregnant I thought of us as a couple and assumed that we would become a family once we had a baby (which was going to be easy!) It wasn't until we started realizing how hard conception really was going to be that I started wondering about the "family" idea. For me, I needed to know that rain or shine we were a family, so I started calling us that. I've always found it so sad that when people are wondering if you have children they say things like "do you have a family?" To which I have began responding "yep, just the two of us." Because like you, I believe that when we stood before God and took each other as husband and wife we became one flesh and one family.
ReplyDeletePS- my word verification for this comment was ovegg. Really, OV EGG? What are the chances on an infertility blog?!?!?
I had that same question when we were first confronted with the realization of Infertility and the possibilty that we might not have children. I was afraid of it being "just us" - not that I wasnt happy but because I associated family with having children. I then made a conscious effort to begin to create traditions that were ours, with our without children. At first it seemed strange or a bit unusual, but the more I do it, the more it feels right and the more grateful I am to have the opportunity to create our family traditions.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts in this post.
Thanks for the support ladies! I'm hoping that we can all start redefining what it means to be a family, with or without children.
ReplyDeleteWaiting & Wishing -- that word verification was just freaky!!
I've never even considered that DH, our two pups and I AREN'T family! Familes come in all different sizes, shapes, drama-lol, you're definitely a family and no one should ever tell you different.
ReplyDelete