Saturday, October 16, 2010

Coming Full Circle

Not much to report.  As I mentioned in my last post, I'm pretty sure that this month's try will be a wild shot in the dark.  And since there's no expectation, at least there won't be any crushing disappointment when I get my period in a couple of weeks.

Last year, my husband and I were at a wedding with very good friends of ours.  This was middle of November 2009.  We were talking about babies, and I said that by next year at this time, I hoped I would be either pregnant or have had a baby.  (This was when we were planning to start trying at the beginning of 2010.)  And throughout this year, as we've been trying and watching each month go by, that evening in November is what I keep thinking of.

I laugh at myself back then.  Because at that time, when I said I wanted to be pregnant by the following year, I'd thought that it would be a simple task.  There wasn't even the possibility that I wouldn't be pregnant.  Oh, what a difference a year makes.

This year has brought me to my knees in front of God.  It's forced me to see that all good things are truly a gift that only He can give.  It's humbled me in ways that I hadn't imagined possible last year.  I'm not sure what God's plan is in all of this, but I have to trust that He has one, and that this is exactly where we need to be right now.

My husband leaves for a business trip tomorrow for two weeks.  While he's away, we've decided that I will make an appointment for us at the local fertility clinic when he gets back.  We want to undergo some preliminary testing (sperm analysis, blood work, etc.) to make sure there is nothing glaringly wrong with either one of us

I know some people may think we're getting ahead of ourselves, but my husband was born premature and suffered a lot of medical issues because of it.  He overcame many of those issues early on in life (thank goodness), but I'm worried that perhaps his fertility was affected in some way.  If so, we'd rather know now rather than later.

If you get a chance, please say a prayer for us.

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