IVF Dilemma

Had trouble sleeping last night.  I woke up tossing and turning in the middle of the night, and it took me an hour or so to fall back asleep.

It might have to do with the fact that I started reading a book last night called Everything Conceivable, about assisted reproductive technology (ART), how it is changing the reproductive landscape, how it's challenging our concept of family and biological ties, and the moral and ethical implications associated with ART.

For those of you just catching up, due to our (so-far) diagnosis of male factor infertility, it's looking like we may need to go directly to IVF with ICSI.  This has not been confirmed by our RE, but based on my reading on the subject, that's my guess.

Anyway, I skipped over a few chapters, and jumped over to the one about male infertility, and was shocked by what I read.  Because ICSI (where they directly shoot a sperm into the egg to fertilize it) is so new -- it was developed in the early 1990s -- it's largely untested.  There's a chance that the men being fathered by these infertile men getting pregnant via IVF with ICSI, will themselves be infertile.  The sperm that are being harvested from these infertile men may contain faulty genetic code.  Mother Nature has made it hard to impossible for infertile men to impregnate their partners for a reason -- namely, she does not want them to pass along this bad genetic code to future generations.  By using reproductive techniques to force Mother Nature's hand, humans are in essence tinkering with her good order.

I gotta admit -- that one hurt to hear.  It seems that the book is implying that when Mother Nature kicks you in the nuts, you should grit your teeth and take it, or else we run the risk of perpetuating infertility until the entire world is infertile in 10,000 years, according to the author's estimation.

That was the first thing that bothered me, and made me think.  Infertility has been a tough one to swallow.  The thought of passing that along to my potential children is even tougher to swallow.  I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy, let alone my own hard-won child or children.

The second thing about the book that made me think was the fact that there are so many moral and ethical complications that arise from IVF.  What do you do with left-over embryos once you and your partner have created the family you wanted from IVF?  Do you freeze them?  Do you toss them?  Do you go back for more IVF until you use up all of your embryos and potentially end up with 7 children and a wad of debt?  Do you put them up for adoption?  If you put them up for adoption, could you live with the fact that a stranger may one day be raising your biological child, and the biological sibling of your children?  What if you and/or your partner dies, where do they go?  What if you do genetic testing and find that one may be carrying a defect (and I underscore "may" because it's not definite)?  Do you destroy that embryo, or do you give it a chance and let God decide what happens?

The alternative is that IVF will fail, and you will end up using up all of your frozen embryos in your pursuit of a successful pregnancy.  But that alternative stinks too.

This is what kept me tossing and turning all night.

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.  All I know is that I really want a child, a biological child.  But I'm scared that in my pursuit of one, I will neglect the principles that I stand for in order to get there.  I wish the bible had some clearer guidance on IVF.

A lot of you guys are either doing IVF or considering it.  What are your thoughts on the subject?  What are your plans?