Monday is the big day. We'll see just how well the varicocelectomy and Clomid are doing for his sperm.
I don't know if I realized it until now, but I think it's been causing me to have a hard time focusing on work. Next week I have a series of presentations I have to give throughout the company, and I feel so underprepared for it. I just haven't been able to focus, though, on pulling everything together.
I know I must sound like a broken record, but I feel like so much hinges on this S/A.
Last week, friends of ours came over and prayed for us. It was such a blessing to see their love for us manifested in that way. I am so grateful to have friends like that. Their prayers made me shed some tears, not going to lie. They were so full of hope and confidence, asking the Lord that he would allow us to conceive naturally, that the results of the S/A would be so positive that it would astound even the doctors. I wish so much that I could believe it the way they seem to, but mostly I am filled with doom and pessimism. At this point, I am ready for the results to be no better than before the treatments, and that we are bound for IVF.
I know God works miracles beyond what we can believe. But the miracles aren't for everyone. Sometimes God chooses for some people to walk a harder path, and that's ok. It doesn't mean that he's unfaithful to them or loves them less. It just means that in His sovereignty and wisdom, He gives us all different paths. I just pray that he would give me acceptance, humility and peace no matter what path he chooses for my husband and me.
No comments:
Post a Comment