Halfway Through

...the 2ww.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant.

But I'm not thinking about it too much.  Infertility has given me a lot of time to think about my life and what I want for it, regardless of how/if/when kids factor into the picture.

Ever since I got married six years ago, I have been planning to be a mom, whether consciously or subconsciously.  I didn't think much about a career or long term plans for my future because I figured that when I had kids, I would table any big career plans and focus on raising kids.

Now that kids are no longer an inevitably, or at least something that can be planned at will, I've decided that I am going to focus on what I want for my life.

And I'm starting to realize that I don't want to do what I'm doing now forever.  Or really, for much longer.  I work in an office, get paid pretty decently, and have good health benefits.  But what I really want is to make a living writing fiction.

This past month, I've started buckling down, and working more seriously on my writing.  I have nearly completed a short story, which I'm going to submit to some magazines.  We'll see how it goes.

Just like with infertility, one step at a time.